your one true love

2005-02-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

if i had more than a second all day, everyday this week, i would have a bunch of stories to tell... however, everything is insane right now and i'm running myself into the ground, so i'm just gonna leave you with this: WAY TO GO NYC! AIDS IS SOOO '91 ANYWAYS.

2005-01-31T11:20:00.000-05:00

so the boy is packing up and leaving for a week and a half on tour. I am haapy he's doing this, sad he's leaving, and scared that him and mc are driving such long hours under such exhausting circumstances. please stay awake, boys.
but through all this, i'm so excited about many things i have to be cryptic about for now. gears are changing, big things might be in the works as far as my life is concerned, and i couldn't be happier about them. to all that came to the party, thankyooouuuuu! I can't believe how packed it got on such a frigid night. we will have another one sooner than later!
pictures from john's bday piddy

and now may i present... :::drumroll:::

2005-01-27T15:50:00.000-05:00

b-rate movie star subway encounters!
today, who should step on the L but elizabeth moss, best known as polly 'torch' clark in girl interrupted. she had on a blue hat that matched her stunning blue eyes, and was looking somewhat nervous as she clutched onto the metal pole; the woman next to her was coughing up flem. it was hilarious.
then this summer, michael pitt, prolly best known as that kid who jets a handjob from hedwig in 'hedwig and the angry inch', or the guy who gets all kinky with the french bro and sis in 'the dreamers', started talking to my friend ali and me- he was looking for a functioning metrocard machine in union square. since ali was doing the same, we joined him in the search. although we walked around together for quite some time, we didn't have much of an exchange as he was extremely timid, but he seemed kind based on the few words that did pass those quasi-famous beestung lips. he was dressed like a hobo, but a very striking one.
then finally, last spring it was christopher mcdonald, best known as 'shooter mcgavin' in happy gilmore or the dad in SLC punk, on the 6 train headed downtown. i wish he had a pipe in his mouth. the man was made to be a pipe-smoker.
it's not that (as a new yorker) i don't see starlets all the time, there's just something extra-special about catching them crammed next to crazy cakes mcgee with the urine-soaked pants, trying to be both inconspicuous and not breathe at the same time.

party mix of links

2005-01-27T11:05:00.000-05:00

best free stuff on craigslist:
cuddle with a tabby cattt, feel like you're 8 again with a free imax film tonight, and , own the road with 20 free bikes...though they might just want to rape you in their basement instead...
thanks to fark, i now raise the question: wtf has happened to all our old pop stars?
debbie gibson gets nekkie, alanis morrisette likes hooters? , and baby spice is allll grown up. ew.
finally, boingboing gives me my daily dosage of awesome:
say it with sprouts, how to kick serious ass with umbrella circa 1901 and... as boingboing has once before introduced me to twinky sushi, it now brings chocolate sushi AND candy sushi mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2005-01-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

hello all one or two of you who read this! i'm sitting here in supercore next to this awesome cat because our internet in the apt is down and i needed to get me some wifi. oh man. this cat is seriously great. i think i'm gonna come here more often just to sit next to her. and if you ever go to supercore, she's plastered all over the wall in pictures. but she's reeeal, too! i think every restaurant-cafe should have a friendly cat. anyway, since i'm all done with my writing assignment, and i have about 3 minutes of battery left, i though i'd share some stuff i found on fark.com:
why drummerrs are such awesome people
why women suck at reading maps
and finally, unlikely, but would be great

egad, i just joined myspace?

2005-01-24T11:45:00.000-05:00

my space. the best part about it? the picture my dear friend tommy posted on his journal:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. the other best part about it? todd barry is my friend, though napoleon dynamite seems to be too cool for my blood. anyway, through a series of bars hoppings, clothes shoppings, and mc chris shows (ok just one), this was a fine fine snow storm. mc and john regretting ever bringing merch
williamsburg under a blanket

what is up with all those jamster commercials on t.v.?

2005-01-22T14:48:00.000-05:00

um, who is paying them for this shit? ...i feel as though i'm missing something as usual.
i found myself exploring fark. com this morning, once again wondering to myself what would john say?
anyway, i didn't fall down at the bill blass show; in fact, i got a pompador on my head- one of the sole reasons i started modelling in the first place. here's an honest confession: i have a pompador fetish. yesterday was like christmas, i kept wearing the thing until i fell asleep. surprisingly, not such a comfortable hairstyle for sleeping. anyway, i love these drawings they always do at shows: these were the ones i was wearing: it was the first runway show where i've been intimidated by the clothes i was wearing. bill blass is awesome.
tonight... i dunno about this weather... but i have a hankering to party. maybe the party at tribecca grand? misshapes for the upteenth time? cake.

2005-01-19T13:38:00.000-05:00

i know i don't have asthma or smoke weed that frequently, but i'm pretty sure i could turn this into the greatest pipe ever i want athsma
speaking of pot and asthma, tonight is your chance to see mc chris perform his second show ever at the continental.
remember him? this guy'll be there, holding a little computer in his lap
oh! and this 2 page i did with many other models for interview magazine a loong time ago (that got bumped out cause of ronald reagan's death) actually randomly put a picture in this month! it's agreed that my face looks all morphed and wierd cause they squashed it down a bit to fit, but there we are on page 38. cooool. the oddest part is that they cut out the two hottest models that were there. idiots! dang!

my friend just sent me this...

2005-01-18T13:35:00.000-05:00

ironic? counterintuitive?

stumble stumble stumble

2005-01-18T11:56:00.000-05:00

this is the "stop the glamour" runway show of last thursday... i snuck in a few pictures in the makeup room and during our practice walk. i'm not quite sure what's up with this, but i keep landing runway jobs. i'm 5'10 with a lotta pudge, for a model at least, but for some reason they keep choosing me over the typical 6'0 girl with 0% body fat. maybe it's my ability to speak english? although i feel insanely underqualified for it, i somehow even landed the billy blass show on friday. eek.
though walking down a runway isn't as bad as one might expect. the high power lights in your eyes act as blinkers, and like a good little animal designed for prostitution...er... presentation you trot down the narrow lane hoping not to stumble. pictures from that
then later on i went out to sushi dinner with john, josh, mc, and my friend vanessa. i just wanted to post a quick picture of her expression while attempting the chopsticks. marrrrrg!: priceless.
josh and mc, cuuute.

oh and p.s. i've been living like a caveman all weekend. no internet and my phone died. so call me and gimmie yer number- i have a new phone, same number, no names:(

also: we're gonna have a parrtyyyyy:)

aieee.

2005-01-12T13:30:00.000-05:00

just booked a runway show. tomorrow. here we go, left feet. i am so nervous.

two nights of hilarity

2005-01-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

last night, john went out dressed like this. some were baffled, some amused, but the important realization that the fashion-forward josh m. had made when first witnessing the piece at search & destroy slowly began to dawn on us as well: this is the greatest article of clothing for john or a little japanese girl ever. I think it may have even warded off muggers during our semi- long early morning walk back to the apartment from the car, cause anyone willing to wear that sweater at 4 am in brooklyn very well might just be willing to kill you as well.

the surreal life season 4= the greatest show ever. proof? they got vern troy naked on his scooter, peeing on the living room floor in front of his roommates WITHIN THE FIRST NIGHT. also on this past fantastic monday night of t.v., in the later hours of the early morn, the great thomas, me, and a friend named kaitlin played my favorite late-night t.v. game of "guess which title is soft-core porn". and i believe truly found a gem: although my tutor might not be porn, but it is hands-down the greatest sexploitation film since caligula.

who knew?

2005-01-09T13:10:00.000-05:00

i'm now friends with both of my blog idols.

josh threw a pre-misshapes get together at his place. i was so happy to see him again, it's been far too long. some pictures from that
later, we all travelled down to misshapes to see sarah and her friend work the tables. misshapes

now the only downsides are that post coffee, red bull, dr.pepper, and chai tea, i haven't really fallen asleep yet, and because i was a bad girl and smoked some, my lungs now feel as though they might just collapse at any point. not to say that it wasn't totally worth it.

some links from fark.com, the website that made fun of me for saving a veal calf

2005-01-09T13:03:00.000-05:00

the 100 oldest links
possiblity of nasty, wrinkled cooter on the big screen?
insert joke here
the aged elvis
the odds of dying

to a far, far better place

2005-01-08T19:49:00.000-05:00

nasty cold part 2

2005-01-06T17:30:00.000-05:00

i have a nasty cold.

feck yes

2005-01-03T01:19:00.000-05:00

a sunday night exploration of some northside bars in williamsburg...

here we go!

first stop: a new bar
next stop: the funhouse
then we briefly stopped outside this place, called iona or something, but when we peeked inside it looked so depressing that we decided to keep our distance and instead moved on to: triple crown
finally, we stopped in the turkey's nest tavern

oh, and in our midnight ventures we also came across this gem

my new realization: out = much better than in

...

2005-01-02T13:56:00.000-05:00

john just told me about this story. haha!

i'm going to helll

i love the manic mode

2005-01-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

bubble wrap

i needed this page so badly today. oh yes.

and moving into week two of the new blog

2005-01-02T11:34:00.000-05:00

NEW YEARS ROCK N' ROLL!!!

new year's (eve)ning began with a houseparty in greenpoint. GOOD TIMES. got to hang with ben, which is what really matters. oh and i got drunk there. that mattered, too. ben and me taking a skinny shot (we had both looked about 300 lbs in the picture before this) MAAWWWWWWW!
ben's roommate lily, one of the most unique (and fun) people i've come across in a long time.

The rest of the house was pretty sweet, it was all decrepid and wierd... but i was drunk & lazy so all pictures were taken from the comforts of that couch. Oh, and the crazy polish neighbors had the most extreme christmas decorations up, if you can imagine that. but again, i have the memory of a goldfish, so as soon as i started drinking i forgot to take those pictures as well. From greenpoint, we headed out to the tribecca grand to see peaches for free, much thanks to mc and sarah...

two upcoming rockstars, "dj hobocamp" and vince of army of me standing outside the hotel.
john, a.k.a. the best person in the world, and sarah , a.k.a. the most awesome girl ever. seriously.
one of many kisses that evening
pre-peaches dancing
sarah again with the official photographer on call and two girls i don't know. behind them, some kindly guy named rob (i think), and on the left is vince.
the crowd getting more and more agitated waiting for peaches
if you look closely, you'll see the hottest chick on this side of the country. angelina jolie pretty: makes even the straightest of people feel kinda gay.
and the drunkest face of the evening goes to... that girl.

And then...

peaches!!!
Peaches!!!
PEACHES!!!

to sum up:
total glasses of red wine: 4
total glasses of champagne: 4
total glasses needed to make me drunk: 1.5
this was the best new year's everrrrrrrr.

owww...

2005-01-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

new year's eve went way past my expectations this year. did i mention how excited i am for this upcoming year? well i am way too hungover right now, but details to come on last night stuff soon. went online first thing this morning to find an evaluation from one of my professors. to my great surprise and relief, it wasn't half bad. i did nothing in this class other than the occasional game of tetris on my cell phone, and i still know very little about the senufo tribe. man, i remember the days of having a 4.0 average; they were pretty terrible.

the evaluation

2005, hurry the fuck up.

2004-12-31T14:48:00.000-05:00

party in my shoe...

IT'S A NEW FUCKING YEAR (FINALLY) RESOLUTIONS!!!

i will...
cherish every moment i have with john

spend more time doing illegal things i can't really show you with all my great friends.

lose the holiday pounds and return to the gym already

feed them more greens. they love the greens.

go to more rallys protesting bush, appreciate how far people will go to stop him.

attend more parties that have whips and 3-D glasses on the table

get ANOTHER new bag that is non-leather, big enough for my book, and good for the ORGANIZATIONALLY RETARDED.

make sure the boys go to the best home ever. +++ and i will donate lots of time and money to animal organizations, too, 'cause that's my cause, always has been, always will be. call me a misanthrope, but non-human abnimals are sentient beings, too, damnit.+++

explore more of the world. from a lovely shoot in cancun 2004.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

but why is she online when the OC is on?!?!?!?!

2004-12-30T21:53:00.000-05:00

the death and dismemberment of a bad yam:

boy i'm sure glad not to be a vegetable.
though i feel like one right now.
oh man i am so bored.

patti smith, full of juice and mexican jumping beans at 50-something (today is her birthday)

2004-12-30T01:56:00.000-05:00

found out tonight that my dad is only half old grumpy man. the other half is awesome. here is some proof:
+he went to pratt with patti smith, 3 years ahead of her
+he created the "silhouettes" debeers diamond campaign, which is like my favorite commericial ever
+he discovered the people from the onion newspaper on a trip out to madison, wisconsin
+he was best pals with mike tyson back before the boxer was ruined, back in the 80's
but he never tells me any of this shit cause he's too busy pissing about something or other that i'm doing wrong. he's one of the most talented guys i know, but i don't really know him at all... though he says i know him best... basically, we have the most confused relationship ever.

anyway, as a christmas gift i randomly got him tickets to see patti smith tonight, not knowing that the old man went to school with her or any of that... it was mostly fun. i tried to get a picture of this crazy dude throwing money into the crowd, but he span around and looked at me like i was trying to steal his soul or something, so i put the cam phone away right quick! i really meant to bring my digi cam tonight to take pics but only had my lousy cell device on me. m' da was happy, i am happy, but i can't wait for this fucking monster of a year to end.

sign/>
patti/>

in the words of the great one: "YOU are alive. YOU exist. YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!" resolutions this year are gonna be bigger and more explosive than ever. this new year's counts.

2004-12-28T22:34:00.000-05:00

dildo face

2004-12-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

you are a dildo face, and i will tell you why. just kidding, you're not a dildo face, but i bet you sure do like movies and t.v. shows. and you probably like to know more than others do too, right? i do. that why i think this is the most entertaining website ever. i totally kicked its ass with hamlet. but don't guess it now cause i think it's been added already. oh, and i was kidding about kidding. you are a dildo face, but a pretty one.

2004-12-28T00:17:00.000-05:00

i love watching vh1 and feeling nostalgia for decades i haven't experienced.

haw haw haw ho

2004-12-27T13:05:00.000-05:00

Merry Chirstmachaunnikwanza everybody!

to all you many, many thousands upon thousands of millions of people who read this, i hope your holidays were rad. minus one screaming match with my dad (which was awesome for us... i think he was pretty stoked about the patti smith tickets i got him), it was a rather quiet holiday. most of it was spent recoving from a nasty cold in the post-unwrapping christmas haze next to a fizzling and popping fire in the unswept chimney place. i got lotsa material things: a couple of pairs of shoes and a designer dress from a commercial my dad just made for carress soap. that's all i can say about the ad, though, becuase it's not out yet! then i got two much needed gift certificates and some expensive perfume that i'd never actually buy for myself. and billions and billions of socks! yesss! and m'love gave me earrings and a jacket, which is funny cause i gave him a cashmere scarf and a jacket. ironic? counterintuitive? what's the difference between the meaning of those two words? seriously. no one's been able to give me a good answer yet.

my mornings have started a new trend of listening to npr online in the morning... right now, i'm listening to this story. and i'm getting more and more like my parents every day. fuck me.

p.s. i keep looking for places to donate to the tsunami that hit asia yesterday, but i'm finding nothing but news on it. i guess i should donate to one of those big organizations that takes care of stuff like this, but if you know of anything better than this let me know. so terrible.

2004-12-23T11:25:00.000-05:00

BONES! bones.
i have five little sets of guinea pig eyes resting on me right now... ok that's creepy. i'm leaving now. happy holidays/

pollio

2004-12-22T23:25:00.000-05:00

justice is served

some last minute gift ideas

2004-12-22T22:11:00.000-05:00

for the girl you wanna get in the sack: custom m+m's
for the german in your life: david hasselhoff signed ipod
for the person you hate: c-rate movie stars autographed pictures ( newyorkish)
for the person everone else is gonna hate: david yurman
papermag
for that guy who smells funny: soap, you smelly piece of poo
for anyone: ROBOSAPIEN!
to give your children nightmares: or just get me a real one
for yourself, cause it's too awesome to give anyone else: the gift that keeps on giving

hammy do day

2004-12-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

yikes... i feel like sucha lardass. the shoot was long today and i just sat by the catering and snaked and snaked and snaked on ginger snaps. i could hardly even fit into my clothes! sooooo, if you see a fatty in the march issue of lucky, gut hanging out of her shirt, that would be moi. also, it didn't help that the girl shooting the other half of the wardrobe was this sex goddess from the u.k. ( i know, i didn't think that existed either!) a ford model named jessica

post holidays begins an attempt to fit into my clothes once more.

another reason not to have thanksgiving: a new way to stuff one's face with turkey.

2004-12-21T21:05:00.000-05:00

oh man, four days of vacation and i'm so bored already. wish i knew what to do with myself when there's no one to tell me. wandered around the city today for a couple of hours. presents are all bought and wrapped. 3 hours of sleep and i feel like a million bucks. went to a casting, got the job; tomorrow lucky mag is shooting me for an editorial piece... maybe they'll have that same reiki therapist/makeup artist as the last time. she told me that you hold all your pain in your chest so when she touches one, she'll start to cry and then so will her patient... needless to say, i didn't let her touch my chest.

since back in brroklyn today, i've been lj'ing it up. i came across this one guy's work. have no idea who the person is, but his journal is like a bittersweet art film, heavily stylized and heart wrenching. he posted a suicide note from when he was 16 from an obviously unsucessful attempt: about a boy. it made me cry, but then i noticed how fashionable his handwriting is and felt somehow inspired, as counterintuitive as that might be.

links of the day

2004-12-21T12:55:00.000-05:00

silly kids, just pee on the guy... your parents will take you off his drunk-ass lap before you can say "rudolph": eeek! ( boingboing)

and then there are crazy people on craigslist
and then there are desperate people on craigslist
and then there are desperate people being destroyed by crazy people on craigslist:
this is going to be so awesome (gizmodo)

apocalypse now

2004-12-20T07:54:00.000-05:00

three christmas candles sit on top of an old wooden trunk, distracting my attention from the "angels in america" dvd we've rented. two burn bright; the third idles, just a tiny sphere of blue and yellow, drowning in the wax that surrounds him. The others have burned high enough to melt the wax level to their wicks. but the light of the rotund sage candle falls deeper into the fluid cavity that his weak little flame has been sinking. I try to push down the wax, to allow him to grow; he remains limited, slowly piddling into another hole. I try to drip the wax onto the old wooden table, but like a hand that despretely reaches once more as the quicksand overtakes it, the little flame jumps and then drowns; quickly i perform c.p.r. with my brightly-colored lighter from cancun. the angel wings of the parrot cartoon that are drawn upon it flap a breath back into the flame with a 'click'. once again the little ball of life returns, barely keeping his head above water. i sigh and revert my attention back to the television. while people lay dying on the screen, the little flame keeps dragging my eyes towards it, somehow the saddest wretch of them all.

hey, at least it smells good in here. gotta love christmas time.

so, this is my new blog...

a little bit about me:

past: i used to have those huge cardboard bricks. I'd try to build them up around myself so i could bust out like the hulk, but i'd always run out of bricks by the time i got around my shoulders. it pissed me off to no end. oh, and i'm a capricorn. nothing's ever enough.

present: lately, like the fool i am, i believe in zodiac signs. perhaps because it's easier to take all of my character flaws and use that capricorn thing as a crutch... . but if i like you, i love you and always will... if i dislike you, well, i hate you and probably always will. the world becmes too much for me a lot of the time because i want to help everyone i'm fond of, and that's a lot people, and a whooole lotta animals. basically if you're not a wasp or human, i automatically love you. currently working on serious issues of guilt with a therapist. i think i bore the pants off her. annnnyway.